him & her VI: dating

H E R

Listen, we all wish we could be the Beyoncé of dating. Some people date like it's their job — and they are the boss. They've got their conversations down and know all the right questions to ask. They know how to approach that uncomfortable point when the check comes, and they successfully end the date without the awkward hug/kiss on the cheek situation.

They make dating look easy. But, there's some of us out there that hate every single thing about dating. We're not confident in what topics to bring up, we worry about what to say, what to wear, and basically, we are all nerves the whole time. For those of you out there who can relate, I say, practice makes perfect. It's just like any fear. The more you actually do the thing you're scared of, the more confident you will feel as time goes on.

First dates can be exciting, yet nerve-racking. You're putting yourself out there, and that can be scary. I am not an expert, but here are some tips to get you through those awkward times:

DRESS TO IMPRESS

Dressing for a first date usually ends up with you trying on countless outfits and all of your clothes on the floor. The problem is that you’re trying to dress for your date, instead of dressing for yourself. Be sure to wear what makes you feel most confident. Your date isn’t going to notice if you’ve worn that outfit a thousand times before, or when it was in style. 

HONESTY HOUR

Be honest on a first date. If you are having the best date of your life, then say it. On the other hand, if you aren’t into your date, you don’t need to crush his or her dreams by being saying, “I don’t like you.” But, you definitely do not need to say, “I had a great time. Let’s do this again sometime.” A simple “Thank you” will suffice. And if your date asks you out again, you can be polite and truthful.

MANNERS

Everyone loves manners, and so does your date. Sometimes we get caught up in life and we forget the little things — like, “Please” and “Thank you.” I know they seem small, but the devil is in the details. People notice when someone has manners and when they don’t. If you want to stay in your date’s mind, mind your manners.

BE YOU

I cannot stress this enough. Be you. This is your one opportunity to show the other person who you are. You are unique and special and your date wants to see that. So instead of saying what you think your date would like to hear, say what you truly feel instead. If you’re weird, be weird. If you’re serious, be serious. Don’t play a part that you’re not — nobody likes a bad actor.

LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION

When it comes to where the date will be, be sure to choose whatever makes you feel most comfortable. I think this is the thing that stressed me out the most about first dates, because a good conversation is pretty dependent on the environment. If you're yelling at each other over loud music at a restaurant things get weird.

EAT

It can be intimidating to get down with a big meal in front of a person for the first time. I get it. But ordering a salad because you don’t want to make a fool of yourself is just plain silly. Unless you actually love salads, in which case, you should order that caesar salad.

GOODBYE PHONE

Sometimes on a good date (even more-so if it’s a bad one), your mind starts to wander. But no matter what you do or think, keep that phone in that purse. It’s awfully rude to pull out your phone on a date and look through it — unless, of course, you’re showing those cute photos of your dog! And don’t even think about putting your phone out on the table. Your date will appreciate that you’re in the moment.

DON'T DUMP

When a person reveals too much too soon, it can give a false sense of intimacy. In reality, premature or exaggerated revelations are due more to boundary issues, unresolved pain, or self-centeredness than true intimacy.

BE GENUINE 

Maybe your first date questions will lead you to discover that this person is your soul mate-or maybe not. Either way, it's exciting to be able to get to know another human being and get a peek into his or her world. Great communication starts with being genuinely interested in the individual you're with and paying close attention to what he/she says. The process begins by providing lots of space for the full expression of information.

SHUT UP & LISTEN

Some people consider themselves skilled communicators, because they can talk endlessly. But the ability to speak is only one part of the equation—and not the most important part. The best communication occurs with an even and equal exchange between two people.

H I M

Dating. One of the most popular topics in a teenager and adult life, for single people anyway. Before I get into my thoughts on this matter, I want you all to know that I love my wife so much. All the dating and stupid things I did prepared me to be ready to meet Hannah, court her, and eventually marry her. The best decision I ever made was asking Hannah out on a date. Life has only gotten better with her in it. That is why I want to talk about dating and my thoughts on what makes a date good or bad, fun or awkward and so on. Overall, all these things give you experience and help you to find out what you are really looking for. I want to dive into some of the things I think when I used to take a girl out.

First off, if I know the date is going to require some type of clothing, I will let my date know with plenty of time to spare. I can't imagine being a girl, getting all dressed up only to find out that you are going to an ice cave. That girl would probably be annoyed. So it is the guys job to make sure he prepares his date for the type of activity they will be doing. A girl will always want to look pretty and done up, which is awesome, but if you can save her from ruining a nice shirt you will earn brownie points.

On that note, girls need to be excited about the date idea. I have been on plenty of dates where I spent the week coming up with this fun, creative date and when I tell her, she complains or looks annoyed that we are doing whatever I came up with. There is nothing worse than the awkward feeling when you know your date is not having fun, but you don't know how to change it. So ladies, be grateful and remember, this guy is taking you out, spending his money and planning a date to try and impress you. Give him the common courtesy of acting excited about whatever it is. Plus, telling your date when he picks you up, "Oh by the way, I have to be back at 8 to help my friend with his proposal" and it is 7 pm is not cool...Don't do that.

Along with the idea of girls being excited regardless of the activity, be open to change. I think this works great for guys and girls. Weather or weird situations may mess up your original plans, but be optimistic and go with the flow. Having a positive attitude will help your date feel comfortable and see that you are down for whatever. Being able to change plans on a dime also shows confidence and adventure, so don't worry if plans get off course, just make it fun!

Another important aspect of dating. Who pays? I have grown up knowing that you would have to be an idiot if you expected a girl to pay for her meal if you asked her out. But I have also been on dates where the girl has asked me, planned it and paid. So just make sure you know the context of your date and always error on the side that you, THE BOY, should be paying. If the girl reaches for her wallet, make sure to let her know you have it. Now, if you are the girl, DO NOT keep trying to pay and nag about it, if you feel incline to offer once and he says he will get it, then he will! Put your purse down and say thank you.
But here is a quick plug for all those girls that know they are pretty, go on lots of dates and then breag to their roommates about how they never have to buy food because they are always on dates. We know you exist and you are easier to pick out than you may think, so be grateful and genuine. It will pay off if you do.

There are so many do's and dont's to dating. These above are just some of the main ones I think of when it comes to dating and how it show work. You do not have to take my word for it, but I am 26 and just got married, which mean I did the dating thing for a long time. So I might kind of know what I am talking about. I have loved my time dating in Idaho. We always had a lot of fun ideas we did and if you are adventurous and creative enough, you won't have to rely on going to The Craze and playing laser tag every Friday night with a different girl.

Here are some of my favorite date ideas here in Rexburg, the clutch ones that you knew would be a success:

DATE IDEAS

1. Take your date out to R Mountain and shoot guns.

2. Take your date to dinner and then take her up to the hills for a little bonfire action.

3. Go off-roading.

4. Sneak onto the city golf course at night and play golf.

5. A nice dinner in Idaho Falls is always a winner.

6. Picnic and water color painting.

7. Drive-in Movies.

8. Hockey game in Jackson.

9. Teton Thai in Driggs.

10. Depending on the season: go to a Chuckars game, Kelly Canyon, or the Idaho Falls Zoo.

him & her V: halloween

H E R 

Halloween has always been one of my favorite holidays growing up.
When I was little it was so fun to wear a princess costume and get a bunch of free candy. When I was a teenager it was exciting to watch scary movies and go to haunted houses. And now that I am in college and married I still love this holiday and all the activities that come along with it.

I know some people think halloween is too scary or too tacky, but I think it is just fun. I love how people get into the spirit of the season. There is a lot of pressure, however, to have the BEST night ever, because it is Halloween. Welcome to FOMO. Since it's the only fun holiday for months, it feels like you have to go to a crazy party and wear an incredibly elaborate costume to make Halloween "count". But hanging out in your apartment with a bowl of candy corn and Hocus Pocus can actually be perfect.


Here's a list of things to do instead of getting pushed around in a mosh pit of a Halloween party:

1. Go to a Haunted Place. Read this: Everything Haunted
2. Make a ton of spooky treats. Get a head start on Thanksgiving and stuff your face with treats.
3. Visit the pumpkin patch. Head over to the U-Pick Barn in Idaho Falls and maybe even pick up a pumpkin to carve.
4. Have a bonfire with your friends. Try your best not to laugh when people try to tell you their "scary" stories.
5. Stay in with a bag of candy and a horror movie. Maybe your version of a scary movie is Halloweentown or you're more hardcore and want to watch Silence of the Lambs.
6. Find the closest thing you have to children and take them trick-or-treating. Grab some random kids from your neighborhood and head out.
7. Throw a Halloween party with your friends. Just an excuse to make all the pinterest halloween treats you want, dress up like you're kids, and have a non-sweaty non-crowded dance party.



H I M

Halloween has always been a fun holiday for me. Growing up my mom would always make our Halloween costumes, no matter how difficult. If I can remember correctly, she made us kids a baseball and tennis ball outfit (we were actually a baseball and tennis ball). She made me a jester outfit, many clown outfits, and I think for my sister a chocolate kiss outfit. You could always count on my mom to make the best costume and save some money while doing it. As I got older Halloween was still fun but it had changed. We still dressed up and messed around but its just not the same as being a kid.

At college Halloween is pretty fun too. People get pretty into it. One year my roommates and I were Aliens and we painted our whole bodies green. Another year we were all different Star Wars Characters and another year we all had the bright idea to buy Power Ranger Morph Suits...best $80 I have ever spent. Now that I am married, we do couples costumes. Last year we were robbers and this year we were Grandpa and Grandma Spear. It is pretty fun to let loose a little. I am all about having fun and enjoying the holidays with friends and family. You are never too old to celebrate Halloween.

him & her IV: everything haunted

H E R


Haunted Forest $9


I don't want to be bias, but the Haunted Forest is my favorite haunted activity in Rexburg. The Haunted Forest is at the same place as the Straw Maze. There are always a ton of people, a camel, and some clowns wandering around.

You ride to the other end of the property to get to the haunted forest in a big truck. When you get there you are divided up into groups and sent on your way. The first five-ish minutes of the walk through the forest is the worst, because you are waiting for something to jump out at you. Right when you think this is the dumbest "Haunted" forest, a guy with a chainsaw starts running after you.

I, fortunately, have never had to run for my life, but I think it be something like my experience at the Haunted Forest. The characters you meet along the way are terrifying and the forest makes you feel like you're in a Harry Potter movie. And just when you think you can't handle it anymore you are back at the Straw Maze, winded and crying a little bit.

Haunted Maze $9


I consider myself a scaredy cat when it comes to spooky things, but the Haunted Maze was more frustrating than scary for me.

Usually in haunted houses or mazes they divide up the costumers into smaller groups so they do not crowd certain areas. They did not do this during the maze so there were some parts where a bunch of us would all end up in the same place.

For the first 10 minutes I thought it was just a normal straw maze, because there was nothing jumping out at us. Sooner or later we saw a couple clowns and a little girl just talking. So no, not very scary. The reason the maze was frustrating was because it took us forever to get out of! It was fun for the first 15 minutes, but after that I was over it.

It took my friends and I around 45 minutes to get out of the Haunted Maze. I wouldn't recommend wasting your hard earned 9 dollars to go through this maze.

H I M


Haunted Mill $10


Let me start off by letting you know that I hate haunted things. Last year I managed to avoid anything haunted and that was a good year. This year Hannah wouldn’t allow that, so I am being a good sport and enduring through these next couple weeks.

We went to The Haunted Mill in Teton a few weeks ago with some friends. I had been to this attraction a few years ago so I thought I knew what to expect. It turns out they have added some things and changed it up a little bit since then.

I think the thing that is the most scary about the Haunted Mill is the location. It's an actual mill that was opened in the late 1800's that people claim is seriously haunted. You walk through the mill, pass through a couple bridges, and even walk through a corn field.

I don't want to give anything away, so you just need to go see for yourself. Grab some friends, wear a diaper and enjoy your time at The Haunted Mill.

Scare Tower $10


The Scare Tower is one of the newest haunted attractions in the area. Located inside of an old abandoned tower, this haunted tower is sure to make you feel claustrophobic. They opened up last year to some great success and this year is supposed to be even bigger and better. What makes this attraction so nice is that it is literally in Rexburg.

The way the whole haunted tower is different than any other haunted thing, because it isn't just a hallway you walk through. When you enter the tower with three other people you have to find a way to get to the exit. Every room, staircase, bridge you are trapped in until you can figure out a way to get out of the tower.

This 30 minute ride will test your speed and the way you handle pressure, while a creepy life sized doll follows you.

him & her III: style

So the other day I wore red lipstick and Curt voiced his opinion of how much he doesn't like it when girls wear lipstick. This turned into a long debate about makeup, haircuts, and clothes. Apparently guys and girls have differing opinions. Who knew? Here's our Male and Female thoughts about today's trends:

Red Lips

HER: Love! I think it can add a lot to an outfit.

HIM: Not a fan. Sometimes it gets on girl's teeth and it scares me.

Joggers

HER: I actually like them. As long as they wear them with the right shirt and shoes.

HIM: Love that there is a low riding crotch, but still a slim fit on the legs.

Short Hair

HER: Huge fan of the "Lob".  I will never go back to long hair.

HIM: It takes less time for your wife to get ready and that's all that matters. Just no pixie cuts.

The Man Bun

HER: Man Buns make me so uncomfortable. Just the fact that a guy is using a hair tie is wrong. 

HIM: I don't like them, because not everyone can pull them off,  and even those that can look ridiculous.

Anything High Waisted

HER: I think if a girl can pull it off high waisted pants or skirts look good, but if they cant...then send help.

HIM: When girls wear high waisted pants they look they are from the 70's and also like they are wearing a diaper. 

Running Shoes with Jeans

HER: I just feel like running shoes are for the gym and if you're at the gym you shouldn't be wearing jeans.

HIM: There's certain things that pair well together and running shoes with jeans aren't those things.

Drawn Eyebrows

HER: I don't think that boys understand that girls needs to give some attention to their eyebrows. That being said no one needs to get out the crayons and treat their eyebrows like a coloring book.

HIM: They shouldn't be messed with. They grow the way they do for a reason. Let them be.

The Beard

HER: I love a good beard. If you have to shampoo and comb it, it's too long, but a little scruff is good.

HIM: I love them. They keep your face warm, they're manly, and they hide my double chin.

him & her II: yellowstoned

H E R

I have been attending BYU-Idaho since 2012 and the first time I ever visited Yellowstone was last weekend. 

A trip to Yellowstone is A LOT of driving. I would recommend bringing diet coke, snacks, and have a good playlist prepared. The scenery to and around the park was amazing. Through out the day we saw multiple moose, buffalo, and elk. [Don't try to get close to them, because they will move towards you a little bit and you will freak out.]

We stopped along the way at some waterfalls and mineral pools. I think the pools were my favorite part of the park. The water is so blue and the steam smells like egg salad. A lot of people didn't like

the smell, but I love egg salad. 

The last stop on our trip was Old Faithful. If I am being honest I was not grateful for Old Faithful. Maybe it's just me, but she was kinda anti-climactic. I feel almost unamerican saying that but when she went off it was just not impressive. 

All in all it was a great day in nature and I would advise anyone living in Idaho to make the trip to this National Park.

H I M

I have been to Yellowstone probably 5 or 6 times in my life. It never disappoints. On our last visit we went into the West Entrance and went to the Madison Junction and then down to Old Faithful. We made all the stops in between and had a blast. Seeing all the mineral pools, waterfalls and animal life was awesome. 

Weather can be hit and miss up in Yellowstone, but we got pretty lucky when we went. A clear day made for walking around a little more enjoyable. I would have to say that people who go to Yellowstone need to realize that it is a lot of in and out of your car. Just getting to the entrance from Rexburg takes just under 2 hours. So bring a car that has good gas mileage.

Old Faithful is obviously one of the main attractions in Yellowstone. I have seen it before so it wasn't anything new to me. It is fun to see the people who are seeing it for the first time. Their are lots of foreigners in Yellowstone and it's cool to think that people come from all over the world just to see this park that is so close to us. I think we take it for granted. Seeing people travel from everywhere helps you to better appreciate how awesome the earth is.

We love where we live and we love being so close to the first national park in America. 

him & her I: how to feel about fall

H E R

Every girl in America is posting a picture on Instagram of her holding a pumpkin and eating their weight in candy corn. I wish that I could say that I am unique and am not obsessed with fall just like every other female, but I would be lying.  

So why are girls so crazy about the Fall season? Let me paint a picture:

You have a Pumpkin Spice Latte (no coffee added of course) in hand and you have a thick, oversized sweater on. You're kicking around some leaves on the sidewalk as you carry home your pumpkin from the pumpkin patch. Earlier in the day, you went apple picking, and tonight, you're going to try to make it through the Straw Maze in less than two hours. Maybe when you get back you'll fall asleep watching Halloweentown.

You are obsessed with Fall.

1. Fall scented candles
2. Oversized apparel
3. Fall TV Shows
4. Changing leaves
5. No more shaving your legs
6. Blankets
7. Comfortable Cuddling
8. Hocus Pocus

9. Candy Corn

10. Pumpkin flavored everything

In my opinion there is no point in fighting it. Everyone loves this season and you should too.

H I M

There is no way I can compete with the length of content my wife just said above, but I can tell you why I like Fall and why you should like it too.

I think we are obsessed with fall because it’s a ton of American past times crammed into three months…football, picking apples, baking, Halloween, sweaters, harvest, Thanksgiving. Summer seems to be more laid back…where fall is food focused, family and friends centered—leading up to the holidays—it’s more sentimental.

For me, Fall is a way to help me appreciate the other seasons. Just when you start to get sick of the summer heat, fall comes to save the day. I love it here because we actually have 4 seasons. But the transition from summer to fall is my favorite because I love seeing the changing colors. The change is beautiful and makes the idea of colder weather a little more bearable.

Fall is full of fun activities including pumpkins patches, haunted houses and lots of hot chocolate runs. If you haven't learn to appreciate fall, I implore you to try. Go to the mountains, eat a pumpkin pie, find the changing leaves and enjoy. I know I certainly will.

him & her: introduction

hello all.

As I have mentioned before I am a Communication Major at BYU-Idaho. Right now I am in a Digital Content Creation class that has challenged me to update my blog twice a week. Curtis and I will both be producing content about everything and anything for the next couple months! The project is called "Him & Her".

We are both really excited to start this journey together! I'll be putting the link to my blog every week on facebook, twitter, and instagram. So stay tuned and wish us luck!